Welcome
Welcome to a blog dedicated to a new fairytale world of burlesque and comedy - Created by playwright Todd Barty.Here is the story of the first play.Synopsis forThe Adventures of Goldilockpick and Little Red Riding HoodlumThe Adventures of Goldilockpick and Little Red Riding Hoodlum opens with the narrators coming forward to greet the audience and telling them that they will find out more about two famous fairytale heroines than they ever knew before.They then take us to the house of the Three Bears in the Magical Woods. Here we find that Mum Bear has made porridge for breakfast. As she sits down to the morning meal with Dad Bear and Little Bear, Little Bear takes a heaped spoon of porridge. The meal is far to hot and Little Bear runs around the room screaming and panting – and has to be restrained by his parents. Dad Bear proposes that they go for a walk in the woods while the porridge cools, and the Bear family wander off merrily.It is then we meet the first of our heroines – Goldilocks, or Goldilockpick as she is known. An extremely pretty girl, Goldilocks flounces onto stage and gives a sweet curtsy to the audience. The narrators introduce her as an uncouth delinquent and she scowls, picks her nose and crowbars the window on the Bear's house open. She is not too bright, as the narrators reveal that the door on the Bear's house is not locked. Goldilocks stumbles through the window and falls spectacularly to the floor, with her legs in the air and her bright, boldly patterned undies, resplendently decorated with numerous frills and bows, showing to the audience.Goldilocks then samples the porridge. She finds that Dad Bear's porridge is far to hot, and douses her face with water from the jug on the table. Mum Bear's porridge is to cold and Goldilocks spits it out uncouthly, giving the excuse that she has no airs and graces. Finally, Goldilocks tastes Little Bear's porridge, and since it is just right, she finishes it greedily and messily.Feeling tired, Goldilocks then decides to take a seat. Dad Bear's seat is too soft and Goldilocks sinks awkwardly into the chair. In spite of Little Bear's chair being to small, Goldilocks tries to sit on it, jumps up with a scream and pulls a tack our her bum. Goldilocks finds that Mum Bear's seat is comfortable, but decides to take a sleep and goes upstairs.The narrators take us to another part of the woods where we meet our other heroine – Little Red Riding Hood, who is known as Little Red Riding Hoodlum. Little Red Riding Hood is also extraordinarily pretty and gives a sweet curtsy to the audience, be putting one of the narrators, who has come on with a basket, in a headlock. She pulls the basket from their hand and skips off merrily. Meanwhile in the Palace of Fairyland, the Queen of Hearts, who has heard of the trouble Little Red Riding Hood is causing, orders the the number one agent of the Fairyland Bureau of Investigations (or FBI), a certain Double O Wolf, to capture the young thief. As the seductive Double O Wolf receives his orders from the Queen and embarks on his mission, the action transfers to the Magical Wood, where we meet Gran Hood.Gran Hood tells the audience of her family lineage – stretching back to Robin Hood himself. She explains that while Robin Hood stole form the rich to give to the poor, she and her grand-daughter, Little Red Riding Hood, steal for themselves. Excited that Little Red is coming to visit her, she lies on her bed pretending to be tired and frail, in an effort to get more sympathy from her grand-daughter. Double O Wolf disguises his voice as Little Red's and gains entry to Gan Hood's house. He orders the old woman into her cupboard at gun point. Gran Hood haughtily warns Double O Wolf that he is no match for Little Red, then steps into her cupboard. Double O Wolf quickly jumps into the bed and pulls the sheets up as Little Red enters with her basket of goodies.As Little Red Riding Hood prepares to divide up her loot, Double O Wolf encourages her to come closer, claiming that he can not hear her. As she sidles up to the Wolf, Little Red questions why her Gran has such a big nose. The Wolf replies that it is to smell Little Red's cooking. Little Red then questions why Gran has such big eyes. The Wolf claims that they are a disguise. Finally, Little Red spies Double O Wolf's handcuffs, and he reveals himself and says that he is here to take her in. When Little Red says that he will not catch her, he tells her that she is very pretty, and seductively moves towards her to slip on the handcuffs. A wild slapstick chase breaks out between Little Red and Double O Wolf. There is pillow fight between the two and Little Red knocks Double O Wolf out and hides in Gran Hood's bed. When he comes to, Double O Wolf comes to and there is a scuffle in the bed. In the chaos, Little Red Riding Hood is turned upside-down and Double O Wolf and the audience see her bright, boldly patterned undies, also elaborately decorated with frills and bows. Double O Wolf finally gets the better of Little Red and captures her. Just then, a maniacal, axe wielding huntsman who is the henchman of Gran Hood bursts through the door and kills Double O Wolf with a swift blow from his axe.Little Red Riding Hood straightens herself up and it is revealed that Little Red knew that Double O Wolf was there, and that is why she had the Huntsman waiting outside. The Huntsman releases Gran Hood from the cupboard, and she cackles gleefully over Double O Wolf's demise. Little Red Riding Hood then gives Gran Hood a jar of Scotch Marmalade that she has pilfered for her before departing to pillage some more.Meanwhile, the bears have arrived home after a three hour walk to find that their porridge has gone off after being left for so long. Before Mum Bear can make some more, Goldilocks, who has has woken up, bursts into the room and holds the Bears up at gunpoint and steals their porridge. Mum Bear tells the audience that she will not reveal to Goldilocks that the porridge is off and will make her unwell. Goldilocks grabs her basket, with the porridge inside, and heads into the Woods.Before she gets far, she is spied by Little Red Riding Hood, who trips her over and steals her basket. Goldilocks does not let Little Red get far either, however, as she trips Little Red over and retrieves her basket. Little Red's scream is heard by the Bears who come running to see what is going on. Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood, it seems, are long time rivals. After a volley of threats and verbal sparring, a wild slapstick brawl breaks out between the Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood. Little Red Riding Hood charges at Goldilocks, but Goldilocks throws her off. Little Red ends up on the ground with her legs in the air and her undies showing. Little Red gets up and the fight continues. Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood claw at each other, pull each other's hair, throw punches and kicks – stopping only momentarily to curtsy to the audience each time they are victorious. As the fight continues, bottoms are pinched, skirts are lifted and both and Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood wind up rolling around around on the floor, arms and legs flailing, with their bright, frilly undies showing in a truly indecorous, immodest and hilarious display.Mum Bear runs inside to phone the police as Little Red reaches in her basket, produces a handful of strawberry jam, and smears it over Goldilocks's face. Goldilocks grabs Little Red and spins her around This actually makes Goldilocks dizzy and Little Red gets her in a strangle hold. Goldilocks pretends to faint and uses this opportunity to grab a handful of chocolate sauce from Little Red's basket. She proudly smears it over Little Red's face face. Little Red, infuriated, grabs a French bread stick from her basket and knocks Goldilocks out with it.Little Red Riding Hood then helps herself to the porridge in Goldilocks's basket, eating it greedily and messily so that it is smeared all around her mouth. The Bears comment that it is unfortunate that the porridge that Little Red is eating has gone bad.Before long, Little Red realises that there is something wrong with the porridge as she suddenly feels ill. Little Red Riding Hood's stomach groans audibly and she farts loudly before clamping her hand over her mouth and running inside to find the loo.Two Policemen then arrive on the scene. They run into the loo and Little Red is heard screaming. It is obvious that the police have caught Little Red going to the toilet as they come out covering their eyes. They then pull Little Red Riding Hood out of the toilet and she is adjusting her undies. While one Policeman restrains Little Red, the other lifts Goldilocks to her feet. Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood are then taken off to jail.The narrators then reveal how the famous stories are so different to the ones in the play. While in prison, Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood wrote their stories, but made quite a few changes. Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood then return to the stage with their books. Now that they are out of jail, they are on tour, book signing.Act Two opens with the Narrators re-capping what happened in Act One and telling the Audience that now Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood are out of prison, and have found wealth and fame – they are on the hunt for boyfriends.The audience are then taken to the Palace of Fairyland where The Queen of Hearts is busily baking her tarts for the Fairyland Baking contest, which she always wins. The gluttonous Knave of Hearts tries to steal the Queen's tarts and is caught by the Queen. He is promptly hurled, quite literally, out of the palace – told to go and find food elsewhere. The Queen then goes to meet King Cole.Meanwhile, in the Magical Wood, Gran Hood is baking Gingerbread for the baking contest at her house. Little Red Riding Hood enters and is treated to a taste of the Gingerbread by Gran Hood. When Little Red tells Gan that she will certainly win, Gran Hood bemoans the fact that she has no chance while the Queen of Hearts is in the race. Gran Hood and Little Red then hatch a plot. If Little Red steals the Queen's Tarts, Gran will win the contest. Unfortunately for them The Wolf, a bad mannered layabout who pesters Gran Hood for food, arrives. He has smelt the Gingerbread but is told to leave by Gran and Little Red. Seeing Little Red Riding Hood, The Wolf sleazes over to her and implores her to share with him some of her new-found wealth. Gran Hood cautions Little Red that the Wolf wants her money and Little Red refuses to give it to him. The Wolf, determined to get the money, then chases Little Red Riding Hood around Gran's house, and Gran joins the chase.The chase becomes increasingly slapstick and ridiculous, with Gran and Little Red acting like a wrestling tag team. The Wolf is hit on the head and punched in the groin by Little Red. Gran and The Wolf then duel with cooking utensils. The Wolf gets a break when he disarms Gran and grabs on to Little Red's arm. Gran retrieves her weapon and hits the Wolf, who releases Little Red. Little Red Riding Hood topples backwards and ends up on the floor, with her cape and skirt over up and her bright frilly undies showing to The Wolf, Gran Hood and the audience. The Wolf laughs and whistles as Gran Hood, horrified, helps the embarrassed Little Red to her feet. The Wolf grabs Little Red again and Gran Hood and The Wolf have a Tug-Of-War over Little Red. The Wolf releases Little Red and she and Gran fall to the floor in a heap. As The Wolf advances on the helpless women, Puck, Little Red's Fairy Godmother, enters, freezes the scene and puts The Wolf to sleep.Puck then wakes The Wolf and causes him to itch all over. He runs out the door when Puck tells him that, only by leaving, will he stop the itching.Puck then tells Little Red Riding Hood that a boyfriend awaits her in the pasture. Little Red leaves joyously, but not before Gran Hood reminds her to steal the tarts, and provides her with a pistol to use should The Wolf return.In another part of the Woods, Goldilocks, hungry as usual, is headed for The Bears' house. At the Bears' house, Mum Bear reveals her entry in the baking contest – her chocolate cake. Dad Bear andf Little Bear laud her for her culinary efforts and Mum Bear presents Little Bear with a cupcake made just for him. At this point Goldilocks enters, having smelt the cooking, and demands something to eat. The Bears tell her that she is rude and that, since she is now so wealthy, she should go find food elsewhere. Little Bear lets slip that he has a cupcake and, when he refuses to give it to Goldilocks, she chases him around the house.Little Bear, however, is clever and outwits Goldilocks at every turn – hitting her on the head, kicking her in the bum and lifting her skirt to reveal her bright frilly undies. Goldilocks, embarrassed and frustrated, finally sneaks up on Little Bear as he smiles proudly to the audience after knocking her to the floor. Goldilocks gets Little Bear in a headlock but Mum Bear knocks her out with her rolling pin. Just then Mab, Goldilocks's Fairy Godmother enters and asks the Bears to leave her alone with Goldilocks. Once the Bears leave, Mab awakens Goldilocks and tells her that she will find a boyfriend in the pasture. Goldilocks skips off delightedly in search of love.Next we go to the pasture to meet the very handsome Little Boy Blue. Boy Blue is a shepherd and should be watching the sheep, but instead, he lies down by the haystack and goes to sleep. While he sleeps, The Wolf creeps into the pasture, intent on making a feast on the sheep while Boy Blue is asleep. Unfortunately for The Wolf, Little Red Riding Hood approaches, looking for her boyfriend. The Wolf quickly pulls a sheep disguise over his head and crouches in a corner of the pasture.Little Red skips in and discovers the sleeping Little Boy Blue. She instantly decides that he must be the boy for her and kneels next to him. Boy Blue wakes to find the pretty girl looking at him and they instantly fall in love. Just as Little Red accepts Boy Blue's offer to date her, The Wolf tries to sneak out of the pasture acting like a sheep.Little Red Riding Hood recognises The Wolf and tells him that his disguise does not fool her. Boy Blue is confused as to why Little Red is being so mean to one of his sheep, and when Little Red reveals to him that the odd looking sheep is really The Wolf, he promptly faints. Little Red then pulls out the gun her Gran gave her and chases The Wolf off.While Little Red Riding Hood is away chasing The Wolf, Goldilocks creeps into the pasture and spies the sleeping Little Boy Blue. Convinced that he is the boyfriend Mab told her about, Goldilocks wakes Boy Blue up with a kiss. Boy Blue is stunned that yet another beautiful girl has come to look for him. Little Red returns, not having caught The Wolf, and spies Goldilocks with Boy Blue. Boy Blue, seeing Little Red, attempts to tell Goldilocks about her, but Goldilocks will not allow him to speak, attempting to kiss him again.Little Red Riding Hood storms up furiously and stops Goldilocks by pinching her on the bum. Goldilocks turns around and it is clear that a fight will soon break out. The two girls struggle to get the closest to Little Boy Blue – with Little Red cutting in first, then Goldilocks pushing her aside, before Little Red pulls Goldilocks away by the ear, as they argue as to who Boy Blue belongs to. Little Red Riding Hood then sidles back up to Little Boy Blue, saying that she is the only one for him. Goldilocks, however, runs up and lifts Little Red Riding Hood's skirt up so that Little Boy Blue and the audience see her undies. Little Boy Blue is obviously thrilled to get a glimpse of the beautiful Little Red Riding Hood's undies and pretends to look away but does not. Little Red Riding Hood, duly embarrassed, pushes her skirt down while Goldilocks gets in close to Boy Blue. Little Red then furiously throws Goldilocks to the floor and grabs Little Boy Blue, making him tell her how much he loves her. Goldilocks gets up and shoves Little Red Riding Hood into Boy Blue. Little Red topples over, pulling Little Boy Blue down on top of her in a compromising position. As the two sit up, Little Red tells Boy Blue that Goldilocks is behaving jealously, as she knows that Little Red is better for him. Enraged, Goldilocks grabs Little Red Riding Hood by the leg and drags her away from Little Boy Blue. Little Red Ring Hood then grabs Goldilocks's ankle and pulls her to the ground. Once more Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood end up rolling around on the ground, trying to pin each other down, with their bright frilly undies showing, but this time, Little Boy Blue is watching in amazement.Eventually, Little Red knocks Goldilocks out. Deciding that she is hungry, she then coerces Little Boy Blue in going the baking contest with her. They plan to steal the Queens of Hearts's tarts, as per Gran Hood's request, and then eat them together on their first date. As the two skip off delightedly, Goldilocks is left, unconscious, on the ground.Just then, The Knave of Hearts enters. He spies Goldilocks and is instantly smitten with the beautiful girl, waking her with a kiss. When she wakes, Goldilocks falls instantly in love with The Knave and realises that he is the boyfriend for her.Goldilocks then tells The Knave that she is hungry and the two also hatch a plot to steal the Queen of Hearts's tarts. As they skip off to the palace, The Wolf enters. He has heard their plan and tells the audience that he will be the one to get the tarts, before racing off.At the palace, The Wolf sneaks in to the dining room to find a tray of tarts waiting for him. Joyously, he goes to grab the tarts but, before he can, the Queen of Hearts bursts in and grabs him by the tail, telling him that he will go to prison. The Wolf begs for The Queen not to punish him, saying that he was only stealing the tarts because he is so very hungry. The Queen, impressed by The Wolf's groveling, decides she has a job for this creature. She is in need of a new Wolf, since Double O Wolf went missing while chasing Little Red, and employs The Wolf as her new agent. She gives him the duty of protecting her tarts from any would be thieves.Just, then King Cole arrives. He is there to judge the baking contest and Mum Bear and Gran Hood are with him. Gran Hood has brought her gingerbread and Mum Bear has brought her chocolate cake. The Queen then presents her tarts and gives one to King Cole, as Gran Hood tells the audience that once King Cole tastes the Queen's tarts, he will not choose her gingerbread and wonders where Little Red is. The King then suggests that the assembled group go to the hall where he will judge the baking contest. King Cole, The Queen of Hearts, Mum Bear and Gran Hood leave, with The Queen telling the Wolf to stay and keep an eye on the rest of the tarts, which she has left in the dining room.Once the assembly have left, both Little Boy Blue and Little Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks and The Knave of Hearts creep into the dining room. The Wolf, knowing that he is no match for all four of them, runs to tell the Queen, as the two couples confront each other.The two couples bicker over who will steal the tarts and Little Red Riding Hood sidles up to the Knave flirtatiously to the Knave in order to make Goldilocks jealous. Goldilocks then sidles up to Little Boy Blue. Little Red pulls Goldilocks away from Boy Blue, and grabs onto him, telling Goldilocks to stay away. Goldilocks returns to The Knave, telling Little Red to keep her hands off him.The narrators then inform the audience that Little Boy Blue and The Knave of Hearts have a history of rivalry similar to Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood's. Boy Blue tells the Knave to stay away from Little Red and The Knave tells Boy Blue not to go near Goldilocks. After some further verbal bickering over who will steal the tarts, an all out battle breaks out.Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood get into a scuffle and Little Boy Blue grabs Goldilocks to pull away from Little Red. The Knave grabs Little Red to pull her off Goldilocks. As a consequence, Little Red scuffles with The Knave and Boy Blue scuffles with Goldilocks. Goldilocks breaks away and charges at Little Red and grabs her and The Knave takes the opportunity to take a swing at Boy Blue. Little Red stamps on Goldilocks's toes and Goldilocks hops around in pain, while Little Boy Blue, who has dodged The Knave's punches, grabs the Knave by the nose, swings him around, and throws him to the floor.Little Red Riding Hood and Little Boy Blue reunite triumphantly as Goldilocks and The Knave collect themselves. The angry Knave creeps up behind Little Boy Blue and gives him a wedgie, pulling his boldly patterned underpants up above his breeches into view of the audience. Little Boy Blue cries out in discomfort and embarrassment and, while Little Red watches in horror, Goldilocks sneaks up behind her. Goldilocks then gives Little Red Riding Hood a wedgie, pulling her cape aside and pulling her undies up above her skirt into view of the audience. Little Red Riding Hood also cries out in discomfort and embarrassment and she and Boy Blue frantically adjust their undies.The Knave of Hearts is laughing so hard that he does not see what is coming. Boy Blue turns around and gives The Knave a punch in the groin. The Knave, holding his crotch chases after Boy Blue and they run off.Goldilocks is also laughing so hard she does not see what is coming and Little Red Riding Hood throws her to the ground and jumps on top of her. Goldilocks refuses to be beaten, however, and throws Little Red off before jumping on top of her and pinning her down. Little Red, however, has come up with a plan.Little Red Riding Hood tells Goldilocks that they could help each other. Goldilocks says she does not need Little Red's help as she is going to take the tarts herself, but Little Red asks Goldilocks how she plans to get out past the Queen's guards. Goldilocks stops to think about this and asks Little Red what she suggests. Goldilocks has taken the bait and Little Red suggests that, if Goldilocks were dressed like a guard, she could easily escape. Little Red then offers to go and steal a guards' uniform for Goldilocks. Suspicious of this sudden alliance, Goldilocks asks Little Red Riding Hood what is in it for her. Little Red says that is she helps, she hopes Goldilocks will give her but one tart to take to her Gran, who loves pastry. Goldilocks reluctantly agrees and Little Red tells her to go behind a curtain at the back of the room to get undressed. Goldilocks does so and Little Red leaves, confiding in the audience that she has another plan, one that will surely be bad for Goldilocks.The Narrators tell the audience that Little Red will soon be back with an attack that will be terribly embarrassing for Goldilocks. Little Red Riding Hood returns with the guards' uniform, and she has brought The Knave of Hearts and Little Boy Blue, who are still scuffling. She tells them to stops fighting and explains that her plan is to divide the tarts between the three of them and give Golidlocks none. The Knave, who is in love with Goldilocks, asks where she has gotten to. Just then, Goldilocks calls out from behind the curtain, asking if Little Red is there, and if she has the uniform. Little Red Riding Hood replies that she is there.Little Red Riding Hood then tells Little Boy Blue and The Knave of Hearts that they are about to see something really funny, and pulls the curtain aside to reveal Goldilocks in nothing but her underwear. Gold screams with embarrassment and Little Red pulls her out of the curtained alcove into the room, as Boy Blue and The Knave laugh and whistle. Little Red mocks Goldilocks for being caught out in her underwear, and reveals that she has found a uniform, but that she herself will wear it as she steals that tarts.Goldilocks, furious, tells Little Red Riding Hood that she will not steal the tarts or get away with making a fool of her. She chases Little Red around the room and kicks her in the bum. Little Red trips Goldilocks over and the two scuffle until Little Red gets Goldilocks in a strangle hold. Goldilocks, however, has come up with a plan of her own and pretends to faint.Little Red Riding Hood explains that, while she, Boy Blue and The Knave, will divide the tarts by three, she will be the one who carries them out. She goes behind the curtain to get changed, but forgets to take the guards' uniform with her. Once Little Red is behind the curtain, Goldilocks reveals that she is not unconscious and proposes that she, The Knave and Little Boy Blue steal the tarts, and give Little Red none. Boy Blue refuses, saying that Little Red will be back any moment. Goldilocks points out that Little Red is stuck, as she has left the uniform outside. Little Boy Blue begs Goldilocks to help Little Red and Little Red calls out, asking for one of the boys to throw the uniform over to her.Goldilocks can not resist the chance to repay Little Red Riding Hood for the embarrassment she has just endured. Goldilocks tells The Knave and Boy Blue that they will see the funniest thing yet, and pulls aside the curtain to reveal Little Red Riding Hood in nothing but her underwear. Goldilocks pulls Little Red, who is now screaming in embarrassment herself, out of the alcove and mocks her for being caught in her underwear. Little Boy Blue and The Knave now laugh and whistle at Little Red.Little Red Riding Hood, in a rage, tells Goldilocks that if she wants a tart so badly she should have one. Little Red then picks up a tart and puts it in Goldilocks's face. As Boy Blue and The Knave watch, in fits of laughter, Boy Blue comments on what great comedy this is.Goldilocks, not one to be beaten, takes a tart and puts it in Little Red Riding Hood's face. The Knave comments on how funny this is while Goldilocks and Little Red get into a scuffle as they both attempt to grab the tarts. Little Boy Blue, concerned for Little Red Riding Hood, pulls Goldilocks off his girlfriend and gets between the two girls. Unfortunately for him, Little Red has grabbed another tart to throw at Goldilocks and he is in the way. Little Red Riding Hood accidently puts the tart in Boy Blue's face.Little Boy Blue then grabs two tarts and splatters one over the head of Goldilocks and one over the head of Little Red Riding Hood. Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and Little Boy Blue then get into an all out brawl, covering each other in tarts. The Knave of Hearts seizes this opportunity and grabs a remaining tarts, before heading to the door.Unfortunately for The Knave, The Queen of Hearts bursts in at this moment and catches him before he can leave. She takes the tarts from his hand, and as Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and Little Boy Blue look on, she shoves it in his face. The Queen then pushes The Knave into the other three thieves and the four fall to the floor like dominoes – in a creamy mess. King Cole then enters with The Wolf, Mum Bear and Gran Hood – they have all followed the Queen to see what was going on.The Queen of Hearts orders The Wolf to clean the thieves faces so that she can see who they are. The Wolf drags The Knave of Hearts, Goldilocks, Little Red Riding Hood and Little Boy Blue forward, one by one, throws them to their knees and douses them with water from buckets nearby. The Queen and her guests then see the identities of the four thieves. Mum Bear asks what Goldilocks is doing there and Gran Hood asks Little Red what happened to her. Before they can answer, the Queen announces that they must have a trial for the four thieves.King Cole interrupts her, however, to insist on announce the prizes for the baking contest first. The Queen agrees, but tells him to hurry. King Cole announces that Gran Hood's gingerbread has one third -at which the old woman is affronted. He then announces that The Queen's tarts have won second place, at which the Queen is aghast. Finally, King Cole announce that Mum Bear's chocolate cake has won first prize. Mum Bear is thrilled.The Queen announces that, while she values King Cole's opinion, she believes that she is the real winner of the day. The reason for this is that the four young thieves – Goldilocks, Little Red, The Knave and Boy Blue – had all come to steal her famous tarts, and not Mum Bear's chocolate cake. She points out the enormous effort that they have gone to – saying what a mess they are in and how Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood are in a state of undress. As the crowd laughs at them, Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood suddenly cringe in embarrassment and try to hide behind each other, realising that they are in front of everyone in nothing but their underwear. The Queen tells the four thieves that she will pardon them, but that she must find a way to stop their thieving.At this point, Puck and Mab enter to make a suggestion. They suggest that Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood will stop making trouble if they are married to the boys that they have found. The Queen thinks this is a good idea and asks who is marrying who. Little Red Riding hood announces that she wants to marry Little Boy Blue and Goldilocks says that she will marry The Knave of Hearts. The Queen is set on planning a wedding immediately and enlists Mum Bear and Gran Hood to help cater as the young couples declare their love for each other. Puck and Mab agree that their job is done and the Narrotors agree that the play has reached its happy ending.